Why Listening Comes First

Mark Edgington
Aug 18
3 min read

Updated: Nov 20

When I first started trying to give back, I made the rookie mistake of thinking I had all the answers. I showed up to volunteer projects with solutions instead of questions. I quickly learned that even the best intentions can fall flat when you assume you know what people need.

Listening isn’t passive. It’s not about standing there silently while someone talks. It’s about making space, suspending judgment, and respecting the lived experiences of others, even when they challenge your assumptions.

Whether you’re working with at-risk youth, supporting people in recovery, or helping out at a food pantry, the act of listening builds trust. And trust is the foundation of real change.

Practical Ways to Listen Better in Community Work

Here’s what’s helped me become a better listener:

Ask before offering.
Instead of saying, “Here’s what we’re doing,” start with, “What would be most helpful right now?”
Don’t assume your experience is universal.
Just because something worked for you doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.
Leave space in conversations.
Silence can be uncomfortable, but sometimes people need a moment to figure out how to express what they’re really feeling.
Show up consistently.
People are more likely to open up when they know you’re not just passing through.
Listen with the intent to understand, not to fix.
Most folks aren’t looking for a hero. They want to be heard, seen, and respected.

The Transformative Power of Listening

Listening doesn’t just help others; it reshapes you.

It’s humbled me, challenged my worldview, and made me a more patient, compassionate person. It’s also helped me recognize when I’ve been part of the problem, and where I can do better.

When we listen, we connect. We learn. We grow.

And in a world that’s often louder than it is thoughtful, that might be the most radical kind of service there is.

Embracing Vulnerability Through Listening

Listening also opens the door to vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to be present, we create a safe space for others to share their truths. This act of vulnerability can lead to deeper connections and understanding.

I remember a time when I was volunteering at a local shelter. I sat down with a young woman who was hesitant to share her story. After a few moments of silence, she opened up about her struggles. I realized that my willingness to listen was a gift I could offer. It was a reminder that everyone has a story worth hearing.

Building Community Through Active Listening

Active listening fosters community. It encourages collaboration and unity. When we listen, we validate others’ experiences and feelings. This validation is crucial in building a supportive environment.

In my experience, communities thrive when individuals feel heard. I’ve seen groups come together, share resources, and uplift one another simply because someone took the time to listen. It’s a beautiful cycle of support and growth.

The Ripple Effect of Listening

The impact of listening extends beyond the immediate conversation. It creates a ripple effect. When people feel heard, they are more likely to listen to others. This fosters a culture of empathy and understanding.

I’ve witnessed this firsthand. After a listening session at a community event, participants began to engage with one another more openly. They shared ideas, collaborated on projects, and formed lasting friendships. It was a testament to the power of listening.