The Small Things That Shape a Life

When people talk about turning points, they usually picture big moments. Headlines, handshakes, contracts. But in my experience, the things that truly shape a life are much smaller.

The time you chose to listen instead of argue.

The time you didn’t lie, when lying would’ve been easy.

The phone call you returned.

The small, steady habits that built or broke your character while no one was watching.

I’ve experienced legal consequences that altered the entire course of my future. But the older I get, the more I realize that who I became didn’t hinge on one defining moment. It was shaped by a thousand daily decisions.

It wasn’t the day I got out of prison that made me who I am; it was the way I treated people in the weeks after. Whether I showed up on time, or listened intently, or went out of my way to help someone.

It’s easy to look at someone’s past and only see the mistakes. But that’s not how lives are built or rebuilt.

I’ll never be able to go back and undo the damage that came from my worst decisions. That truth lives with me every day. But I’ve also come to understand something else:

While we can’t rewrite our past, we do get to write the rest of our story.

If there’s one thing I want to leave behind, it’s the reminder that people are more than the worst thing they’ve done. And more than the best thing, too. We are shaped, ultimately, by the choices we repeat.

So if I could speak to anyone who’s walking through regret, or quietly trying to rebuild, I’d say this:

Start small.

Stay consistent.

Let your habits tell the truth about who you’re becoming.

—

Mark Edgington

This article also appears on https://medium.com/@edgington.teams